Two Widows

Not long after Realf’s death, his life was already being enlarged in print. A Buffalo paper sent him into adventures he had never had: hanged from a tree in Texas by “Border Ruffians,” rescued by friendly Southerners, and fighting “savages” in the far West. The real Reconstruction episode at Graniteville became one more scene in a melodrama, and his marriage to Catherine “Kate” Cassidy who was reduced to the French slur une créature occurred only because she drugged Realf into a stupor. In that version, Realf was not a man who had made ruinous private choices —he was a gifted soldier-poet destroyed by hardships and a dangerous woman.^⁠[1]

The March, 1879 issue of Lippincott’s Monthly Magazine appeared on newsstands and with it, a biography of Richard Realf’s life — abbreviated, but inclusive, it also contained details of Realf’s  untidy domestic life. The author, Rositter Johnson, did not know about Richard’s first marriage, however, nor did he know that Hinton was collecting Richard’s poetry for a book he intended to publish that spring.

Hinton, who had decided not to broach the subject of Realf’s marital woes in his book, was now forced to reconsider silence about the matter. Newspapers across the country were already announcing Hinton’s edition of Realf’s poems and biography, with the proceeds  to benefit Realf’s child.^⁠[2]

One well meaning reader of the Lippincott’s article wrote to Rositter Johnson, in hopes of finding out how they might help the poor mother of Realf’s children and took it upon them to send a letter along with Johnson’s private response to the Philadelphia Times.

The Philadelphia Times,  March 02, 1879

THE WIDOW OF RICHARD REALF.

The Poor Woman in a Very Sad Condition and Deserving of Help.

To the Editor of THE TIMES:

I have been much interested in reading in your delightful paper several poems by the late Colonel Richard Realf, “one of John Brown’s men,” and the very interesting sketch of his life which appeared in a recent number of your paper. This interest was increased by reading the most pathetic account of Realf’s life and misfortunes, contributed by Mr. Rossiter Johnson to Lippincott’s for March. In this he tells that a few months before Colonel Realf’s death his wife gave birth to triplets, with which and another child she is left to struggle as best she may. My sympathies were so aroused by this account that I wrote to Mr. Johnson, asking for further particulars. The following is his reply:

MONTCLAIR, N. J., February 21, 1879.

Dear Madam:

Your kind letter reached me today. In November Mrs. Realf [“Lizzy] obtained employment, as a nurse, on Long Island. In a note, which I received from her this morning, she tells me that her task is at an end, but she is still staying with her former employer, looking and hoping for employment. If you could help her to it, it would probably be the best thing that could be done for her. She tells me that what money she had is all gone. I am about sending her the avails of the Lippincott article, which will help her a little. Colonel R. J. Hinton, an old comrade of Realf’s, is writing his life and preparing his poems for publication, the profits to be given to Mrs. R. and her children. That ought to help considerably, though a book is never so profitable as people imagine it to be.

Mrs. Realf seems quite anxious to earn a living for herself and her children. One of the triplets has died since I saw her last, and I believe the other two are still at the Children’s Hospital, on Staten Island. The boy, a rosy-cheeked fellow, who bears his father’s name, is with her, I think. Thanking you for the kindly interest you have taken in this mournful affair, I am very truly yours,

ROSSITER JOHNSON.

Knowing the deep interest that you take in the unfortunate and the wide circulation of THE TIMES, I write you, thinking perhaps among its many readers some will be found to take an interest in this poor woman and her children, and assist them both with money and—what will be better—by finding employment for her. I trust that many will come forward with helping hands.

LANCASTER, February 28, 1879.

M. G.

Catherine “Kate” Realf, who was still in San Francisco ran across the Times and promptly wrote her own letter to the editor which was published as soon as they had received it.

Philadelphia Times, March 26, 1879.

Richard Realf’s Other Widow.

To the Editor of THE TIMES:

I saw a letter in your paper, written by Rossiter Johnson, stating that Colonel Realf’s widow was in New York. I wish to have it understood that this woman is not his widow. I also wish to state that these two gentlemen^⁠[3] who are meddling with my private troubles without any authority from me, to gain notoriety before the public, had better stop publishing any more scandal concerning me or my husband, Colonel Richard Realf, as I will hold all publishers responsible for any publications hereafter.

As my husband is in his grave and cannot speak for himself I wish to have his past buried with him. The gentleman who represents that woman in New York to be the widow of Colonel Realf intends to be the lawful wife of Colonel Realf a willful injury. It is my intention to leave San Francisco in a short time and go direct to New York city for the purpose of ferreting out these false representations to the public and the writer of them, and I shall take steps as I see proper.

Any one wishing to communicate with me can address the Commercial Gazette, Pittsburg, Pa., where my deceased husband had formerly worked for years.

Mrs. Col. RICHARD REALF.SAN FRANCISCO, Cal., March 17, 1879.

When Richard Hinton received word that Kate was back in Pittsburg, he wrote a hurried letter to Realf's sister and another to Sophia.

New York

13 Washington Place

April 27, 1879

My dear Mrs. Whapham,

Your note is before me. I shall be in Pittsburg Monday evening and Tuesday. I have written Mrs. Realf [Sophia] and have also consulted with Rossiter Johnson. I have received information from P.[Pittsburg] about Cassidy. I think we can squelch her without bringing Mrs. R’s name and address before the public.

I propose to see Catherine C. when I come to Pittsburg —

Don’t say a word publicly before then. I shall communicate with you again.

We’ll draw her fangs.

In haste, but

Faithfully yours,

R. J. Hinton

Sophia learned from Sarah Whapham that Kate had reappeared and that Hinton expected to meet her in Pittsburgh. Hinton could answer her claim with the one fact that mattered most — her marriage to Richard was not lawful.

Time was short, so Sophia answered at once. Kate's reappearance did not surprise her; she had expected it. What frightened her was not the truth of her marriage to Richard coming forward, but the possibility that Catherine might learn where she was, what name she was using, and how to reach her. Sophia gave Hinton full liberty to use the proof of her marriage if necessary, but trusted him to act discreetly and protect her privacy.

1 Park Place Lynn, Mass.

April 29, 1879

Dear Sir,

I did receive a letter from Mrs. W.^⁠[4] in regard to the reappearance of K.C.,^⁠[5] but it did not alarm me, for I anticipated that there would be trouble from that quarter.

I wrote immediately, telling her to put the matter in your hands with full liberty from me to act in any manner that could suppress this irrepressible woman. I did have some fears that she might annoy me in some way should she be apprised of my relation to R., but I have confidence in you that you will act discreetly in the matter.^⁠[6]

As you did not answer my last letters, I concluded that you had found your task too difficult and had abandoned it.

Fearing that this letter may be delayed, I will send a telegram in the course of the day.

If convenient, write me from Pittsburgh, for I shall be anxious to hear how this bold creature takes the facts with which you will acquaint her.

Sincerely,

S. E. Realf

Lynn, Mass., May 13, 1879

To R. J. Hinton

My dear Sir,

Not knowing what letters of mine you may have received, as more have been sent of late, this note may be but a repetition of former ones.

The last letters from you are dated March 30th and April 27th respectively.

Thinking a letter might possibly reach you at Pittsburgh, I wrote before sending the telegram, stating only that Mrs. Whapham had not alarmed me with the news of K. C.’s appearance. I had anticipated trouble from this Nemesis of a woman—she seems so capable of the most unwomanly acts. Possibly, I feel all the shame of her deeds (through her connection with R.) more than she ever can, even were she brought to a repentant sense of her wicked life.

Mrs. Whapham has written me that you did not meet her as you planned. May not Dr. Clark have seen her and given her the facts in his possession? And if so, she may have left Pittsburgh in consequence of this knowledge.

I wish you had found time to write to me, but you have had so many difficulties since you began this work that it is irksome to trouble you at all.

Address:

S.D. Butler^⁠[7]

10 Market St., Lynn, Mass.

for S. E. R., as before

Yours truly,

S. E. Realf

NOTES

¹ Buffalo Every Saturday (Buffalo, New York), February 15, 1879 -- as reprinted from the an article written by a man of San Francisco to London World.

² Newspapers in March and April 1879 announced that Hinton’s forthcoming edition of Realf’s poems, with a biographical sketch, would be published “sometime during the Spring” and was intended “for the benefit of Realf’s child.” See, for example, Los Angeles Evening Express, March 4, 1879.

³ Kate is referencing Rossiter Johnson and Richard J. Hinton

⁴ Mrs. W. is Sarah Realf Whapham, Richard Realf’s sister and Sophia’s sister-in-law by marriage.

⁵ K.C. is Catherine “Kate” Cassidy, whom Realf had married in Rochester in 1867 while Sophia was still his lawful wife. Sophia and Hinton avoid granting her the title “Mrs. Realf.” and refer to her only as K.C.

⁶ Sophia did not want her whereabouts or assumed name disclosed. She authorized Hinton to use the facts if necessary, while trusting him to act discreetly. If Kate was heading to New York to confront Lizzy, Sophia did not want Kate on her doorstep.

⁷ S. D. Butler was Simon Dwight Butler, son of Sophia’s sister Margaretta. Sophia’s use of his address suggests continued caution about receiving correspondence under her own name while the Kate matter remained unsettled.