Wretchedness

The letter Richard Realf wrote from Atlanta in 1869 must have been devastating for Sophia to read. It did what rumor could not do: it placed the second marriage in Richard’s own written hand, Richard’s own words. After Sophia had some days to digest it, she returned it to Hinton along with a response.

Springfield, March 29, 1879

26 Fremont Street

R.J. Hinton:

Dear friend,

I return the document — a revelation far exceeding anything I could have imagined as occurring to our misguided, suffering friend. One can scarcely comprehend how a reasonable being could connect himself with such a lost, groveling woman and not know that the result must inevitably be misery, disgrace, and utter ruin. I think the writer in the Republican stated the truth when he ascribed this connection to the effect of strong drink. Few knew — perhaps — how much R. was addicted to this soul-destroying habit. When I realized his intemperate appetite for liquor, I was terrified beyond measure. I belonged to a temperate, sin-fearing fold, and R.’s recklessness in many matters made me dumb with fear of the consequences, both to him and to myself.

To whom was this letter written, and how does it happen that he was with Gen. Ingalls in December in New York City after his enlistment in the regular army? R. says that his connection with this figure began two and a half years before the date of the letter, December 15th, 1869; therefore, it must have been in 1867 that he made this terrible step toward ruin. There is much in the letter — or confession — that I do not understand, but the wretchedness of his life is all too clear, and excludes all other feeling but pity for his self-inflicted sufferings.

Being just now too ill to travel alone, I have sent to a friend requesting my papers to be forwarded to me here. I do not think that I have anything of consequence in regard to your work, but I will see what there is and forward any matter I may find — and very soon.

You spoke of having Idyl, but did not mention “The Psalm of Woman,” nor “Impatience.” I will enclose the latter, cut from a Harper’s Weekly printed soon after the war ended. “To Abraham Lincoln” appeared in Harper’s Weekly during the war and was copied extensively in the newspapers. I have part of it — the rest has been spirited away.

In regard to that lady who recognized R. in San Francisco, I am puzzled. I know where all the people are who witnessed my marriage, save a servant girl who had lived in our family a long time, and to whom we were all much attached. She married, and was living in Michigan a few years ago, but possibly she may be in San Francisco now. She was a very plain, blue-eyed girl, but had a pleasant, ladylike address. Mrs. Furness’s family may know where she is, and I will inquire of them. I have some relatives and connections in San Francisco — but none who know that I was in any way connected with R.R. I will send you the address of a nephew sometime — mate of a ship which sails from San Francisco to the Sandwich Islands.

This morning a letter from Mrs. Whapham has reached me. It was received and will be answered with pleasure.

Was it Heine who said that mental pain is more easily borne than physical suffering, and if he had his choice between a bad toothache and a bad conscience, he would choose the latter? I feel in something of that mood just now, for since I began this letter an insidious tooth — filled, perhaps, too late — has tortured me as only a tooth can. The penalty one has to pay for having a mouthful of natural teeth. If this writing be somewhat spasmodic or illegible, excuse it on the dental score.

I thank you for your confidence in me, unknown as I am, and you have my earnest wishes that you may strike a just medium between over-praise and over-blame in the sketch of R.R.’s life you are preparing for the public.

Yours sincerely,

S.E.R.

26 Fremont St.

Sophia’s reference to “that lady who recognized R. in San Francisco” answers an inquiry from Hinton. At Richard’s funeral, a woman reportedly looked upon Realf's face and said, “Why, that’s Captain Realf, whom I saw married.”^⁠[1]  The woman moved on before Hinton could speak to her and the moment in time stayed with Hinton, so he must have asked Sophia if she had any relatives in San Francisco.

NOTES

¹ R. J. Hinton, biographical sketch in Poems by Richard Realf, ed. R. J. Hinton (London: Walter Scott, 1898), p. lxiv